Big Toe
I wonder if I'll feel it.
Feel the bird-shot push my tongue through the roof of my mouth. It's a normal 12-gauge. Nothing fancy. Bought at Wallmart on special--one hundred and fifty bucks. Got it for home defense.
This home. Been foreclosed on. Wife and daughter left. I stayed. Empty rooms.
But I'll leave something for the rich fucks to remember me by. The vultures; the wolves; the cannibals.
When they find me. Headless. The blood will have dried. A new coat of paint for the master bedroom. Maybe they'll knock the debt down a little.
Some might not think it an easy thing: holding the barrel to my neck with both hands, feeling at the trigger with a big toe. Cold aluminum. Anodized black.
That's how Curt and Earnest did it.
Curt must have realized that the kind of music he was making only made sense while he still made it. That selfish bastard. Took his music with him.
And Earnest--Hem. Sad story. Sadder than mine. You forgive him his indiscretions. Great writer. Up there.
Well, time's a wastin'. I know how much folks nowadays value their time. Jersey Shore. The Weakest Link. Survivor. Hurry up.
This world's gone sour, man. It's just getting sold as fresh. The American Dream put through the wash with those dryer sheets that make everything smell like lemonade.
Coworkers used to say that's how I smelt.
Feel the bird-shot push my tongue through the roof of my mouth. It's a normal 12-gauge. Nothing fancy. Bought at Wallmart on special--one hundred and fifty bucks. Got it for home defense.
This home. Been foreclosed on. Wife and daughter left. I stayed. Empty rooms.
But I'll leave something for the rich fucks to remember me by. The vultures; the wolves; the cannibals.
When they find me. Headless. The blood will have dried. A new coat of paint for the master bedroom. Maybe they'll knock the debt down a little.
Some might not think it an easy thing: holding the barrel to my neck with both hands, feeling at the trigger with a big toe. Cold aluminum. Anodized black.
That's how Curt and Earnest did it.
Curt must have realized that the kind of music he was making only made sense while he still made it. That selfish bastard. Took his music with him.
And Earnest--Hem. Sad story. Sadder than mine. You forgive him his indiscretions. Great writer. Up there.
Well, time's a wastin'. I know how much folks nowadays value their time. Jersey Shore. The Weakest Link. Survivor. Hurry up.
This world's gone sour, man. It's just getting sold as fresh. The American Dream put through the wash with those dryer sheets that make everything smell like lemonade.
Coworkers used to say that's how I smelt.
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